On The Need For A Greater Quantity Of Geodesic Domes

You know what Brandeis needs? A great big geodesic dome. I only figured this out recently, when I noticed just how downright hideous the entrance to Brandeis is.

Let me explain my brilliant reasoning. Currently, what do visitors see when they arrive at our dear university? Why, they see a tiny, scruffy little Branvan shack. It looks like this:

I mean, really. What kind of impression does that send? It doesn’t seem like a proper way to introduce our university to newcomers. We need an entrance that says “Hello, I am Brandeis! I am a grand institution. Come and learn from me.” Our current one is more along the lines of “Hello, I am Brandeis. My buildings look like hovels.”

No, what we need is some kind of imposing monument. And I can think of nothing better than a huge geodesic dome. No other type of building has quite the majesty of the dome. Our school’s level of dome-age is currently dangerously low, and the situation needs a-fixin’. Below, I have constructed a genuine simulation of one possible variation of this genius idea:

Bam! Dometastic! And to those of you say “Wow, that’s incredibly badly photoshopped,” I say this: “Hah! How very wrong you are. It is incredibly badly MS Paint-ed.” Actually, come to think of it, my genuine simulation doesn’t really give you a sense of what I mean. It kind of looks like a glass igloo. And if Eskimos lived in glass igloos, they could never get naked comfortably. I’m really thinking of something more along the lines of the big freaking Epcot sphere. If we had the Epcot sphere, we would be telling every other Boston college that Brandeis means business.

I’m serious about this. Our entrance is ugly. And domes are great. Come on, wouldn’t it be amazing? Share your thoughts.

I apologize if this post is pointless. But with no current Student Union scandals to gossip about, I’ve decided we’re going to talk about domes for a while.