According to multiple unsubstantiated ethereal sources, Pres. Reinharz, after a long and storied tenure at Brandeis University, will be announcing his decision to remain at Brandeis, at midnight. The announcement will be made by the Justice and the Hoot at midnight. Innermost Parts, which (like you) was not given access by the administration to this information, is telling you now.
This is possibly in response to a recent, renewed faculty push for Pres. Reinharz’ reclamation of his post after his superb handling of the Muslim Student Lounge vandalization incident. We’ll publish more details as they come in. Analysis to come shortly.
Long live President Reinharz!