I’m pissed off again. This time, it’s about flowers. It’s not that I’m opposed to the concept of flowers. It’s just that I have a big beef with Brandeis’s particular methods of imposing flowers on the public.
Take a look at this picture:
Those are our new “flower pots.” My issue is that they are not actually flower pots. They are garbage cans. They have been converted.
This is an outrage. Last year these garbage cans were well-located and convenient. But then the members of the Executive Committee On Waste Receptacle Placement sneaked in during the night and suddenly transformed them all into horticultural containment facilities. Now instead of melon rinds and hastily discarded copies of The Hoot, they have hideously lovely pink and white flowers. So where am I supposed to put my melon rinds?
Of course, they’ve replaced some of the garbage cans, but many of them are in slightly different places to where they used to be. And so I have to readjust the paths I take to throw things away, which is a minor inconvenience.
I guess I don’t really have much of a reason to complain about this. The flowers are pretty, and there are new garbage cans. But still, I’m overcome with an indescribable rage. The more I write, the more I realize just how ridiculous my hatred of the flower-garbage cans is, but still. They just seem wrong is all. It’s like an intentional subversion of nature’s intentions for the cans. It’s like the maintenance department (or the Executive Committee or whatever) is playing God. And if there’s one thing I remember from my Bible studies, it’s that God hates it when you play him. So this whole thing is an abomination.
Oh, and speaking of random unjustified annoyance, has anybody else noticed that every garbage can is now covered with circular white “Trash Only, No Recycling” stickers? Each can has about twenty stickers on it, so I imagine you’ve seen a few in the time since the project’s inception. Anyway, those things annoy me. I’m not quite sure why. They don’t really do anything harmful. But for some reason they piss me off. Am I alone in this?
Yes.