Where have all the papers gone?

Nathan is a new writer for us. Please welcome him to the blog. -Sahar

      Last year, each morning I went up to the Information Booth in the Shapiro Campus Center and obtained a crisp copy of the day’s New York Times. These were free, as part of some sort of program-thingy that Brandeis runs to give newspapers to the masses. They also gave out The Boston Globe and The Financial Times. Nobody wanted those, though, because the Globe is a watery version of the NY Times, and the Financial Times is printed on paper the color of salmon, and salmon is no color for a newspaper. Fish and news should be kept in separate spheres.

      Anyway, this year, the papers are gone. Disappeared! No longer is there a fresh stack of papers lurking in the info-booth. We used to have a sort of secret little club for those who knew how to properly sidle up to the booth, give a knowing look, and flash their ID. That has vanished without notice. The little info-people in the red shirts have all offered me contradictory and unsatisfactory explanations for this mystery.

       “Where have the papers gone?” I ask them. Many do not know. Others offer lies and conjecture.

      “They will be here when the time is right,” one tells me. “They have gone,” another says. Others tell me the Times will return within the week, though some say it could take a matter of months. None have a reason for the phenomenon.

      Meanwhile, I am news-less. My morning coffee-and-paper routine has been halfway destroyed. I am forced to get my news from those damned wretched untrustworthy “blog” things, or from empty-headed cable-news people. I have to substitute Wolf Blitzer for Bob Herbert (and despite having the coolest name on the entire planet, Wolf Blitzer is supremely useless as a source of information).

      So my question for Brandeis is this: WTF? Where did the papers go? Why can’t I grab a Times in the morning? How are we supposed to keep ourselves informed on The Issues Of The Day? By reading The Hoot? Surely not! Perhaps Innermost Parts can equip us with our basic knowledge, but surely the New York Times is a good way to supplement the wisdom of Sahar and the gang.

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10 thoughts on “Where have all the papers gone?”

  1. Pingback: Innermost Parts » Blog Archive » Waterbottles and Newspapers: Reporting From the Senate

  2. Hey guys,

    So I got an update on this for you all today. The Union Treasurer says that we are just working out security protocol for the vendor to access campus buildings early every morning to drop off the papers. This means that the new and improved paper system will be up and running in the next few weeks!

  4. From ze president Gray:

    Hey. So here’s the news: The program is paid for in part by the Student Union, the bookstore, and Campus Operations. We are in the process of switching distributors because the one we were using was much more expensive than the one we will be using.

    It stinks it is taking as long as it is, but should start up again soon, and we will have the NYTimes, the Boston Globe, and USA Today (and save a lot of money on it also). Sorry about the delay… we are pushing the University and distributer to make this happen as fast as possible.

    Guess that means no more mixing of Financial salmon and newspaper. Never seemed kosher to me anywho…

  5. Paper is still great.

    It’s more portable. You don’t have to wait minutes for your laptop to load. You don’t have to worry about dropping it and destroying expensive electronics. You don’t have to squint in the sun, or worry about running out of battery.

    Then there’s the tactile feel of turning pages.

    Reading papers online is great, but not a perfect substitute for the real thing.

  7. Sahar is correct – next semester they will appear in actual paper-box type contraptions where you slide your card.

    However, this semester, they should still be there! I shall get on this immediately.

  8. For real. I get the NYT at the bookstore for a dollar fifty, which means I actually get the NYT online for free. But I miss my real-life paper in the afternoon! I wonder who I should whine to.

  9. Hahaha. I don’t think I run a gang, but thanks for the vote of confidence.

    As for the papers, I hear they’re coming in attractive boxes that open with the swipe of an id card next semester – no bugging info desk!

    Then again, I will miss being in the exclusive “people who know how to get the financial times for free” club.

    Also, you’re right! Where are our papers this semester? Bah.

  10. Uch the disappearance of the papers annoys me to no end. Where is our union to take up this cause? I don’t even know who to complain to about this.

    p.s. Don’t diss the globe. I used to get it for the local news but I guess I’m biased because I’m a Boston native.

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