SnarkBlog: UJ 4/22/09 Edition

So, as promised, here is your (not-so) friendly neighborhood snarkblog. Unfortunately, Carrie can’t be here right now, so its just me for the time-being. She might come later, and Mike Laderman and Amanda Hoffman might join in as well.

UPDATE: So, since the software Sahar gave me isn’t working, all snark will be presented to you via comments

UPDATE 2: I would just like to point out again that this is the SNARKblog. For legitimate liveblogging of this trial, see Emily’s coverage, which should be up shortly.






100 responses to “SnarkBlog: UJ 4/22/09 Edition”

  1. Adam Hughes

    Mike — Snark-blogging typically involves a lot more banter and collaboration then you actually see in the published version. In the past, we’ve always had several snark-ers working with each other in the room, and it was an unusually difficult task for Jourdan to take it on alone this time. Also, I think the unusually combative and emotional nature of the case caused her to switch to a more personal, serious style. Despite these factors, I still think she got in some good lines.

    We happily welcome criticism of any of our postings, but in the future, could you do it in a more productive way than through personal insults?

  2. Mike

    This SnarkBlog was quite uninteresting (and therefore disappointing) compared to the last one for the “Ayers SMR” trial. Why was there only 1 person providing the commentary? I hope someone more talented and humorous can do the next one…

  3. Anon

    You missed the funniest line of the trial!

    [someone]: Good afternoon.
    Gideon [nodding out to grey, rainy skies]: Well, shitty afternoon, actually.
    [general laughter]

  4. Anonymous

    I don’t trust a blog with such a negative attitude towards Mr. McElhaney’s personal style.

  5. Amanda

    good stuff jourdan! i feel so…so…informed!

  6. Jourdan

    Okay, I have to go do a project for Italian class. I’m done here. Thanks for reading, guys!

  7. Jourdan

    Nathan presents the closing argument for the defense, with the disclaimer that he will try not to be redundant. I would just like to point out that everything is much more pleasant to listen to when it is said with a British accent.

  8. Jourdan

    Again, Ryan pretty much summarizes everything… I’m not a legal expert by any standard, so I don’t know the difference between a legal argument and a closing argument, they seem like the same thing to me.

  9. Andrew Brooks

    Actually the Senate passed a non-binding resolution speaking out against the UJ’s decision to hear the case…it did not whatsoever speak to the necessity of the RM positions. Instead, the resolution said that there may be legitimate issues with the case and that a decision should be made through the constitutional review process.

  10. Jourdan

    Time for closing arguments, prosecution first. Y’know, once Ryan is done writing.

  11. Jourdan

    Also, she pretty much said that laws and by-laws are bullshit here.

  12. Jourdan

    Friends of the Court: Noam Shouster

    Noam points out the Senate Resolution that was passed regarding the necessity for the RMS. Noam pretty much call out Gideon and Ryan, and is hilarious at the same time.

  13. Jourdan

    Friends of the Court: Kalynn Cook (aka, my best friend… WOOOO!)FYI, I edited this statement.

    She speaks brilliantly. That is all I have to add here. She made me cry.

  14. Andrew Brooks

    Jourdan, I don’t understand what was outrageous with my comment about how feelings shouldn’t trump civil rights. Are you saying the right to vote is not a civil rights/liberties issue?

  15. Jourdan

    Friends of the Court: Taisha (I didn’t catch her last name)

    She points out that this is not a clear-cut case. You cannot take feelings out of a situation such as this. In her words “race is not simple.” This should be dealt with next year in the constitutional review. This entire court proceeding is an embarrassment to Brandeis. There is a need for an RMS on this campus.

  16. Jourdan

    Let me clarify… Brooks said “‘feelings’ should not trump civil rights.”

    so once again… ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!

  17. Jourdan

    Brooks says he understands your feelings. And had the audacity to drop the phrase “civil rights.”


  18. Jourdan

    Friends of the Court: Andrew Brooks

  19. Jourdan

    Justice Jordan leaves for A Cappella Fest. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

  20. Jourdan

    Jamie apologizes for the yelling and everyone laughs.

  21. Jourdan

    Jamie would make a good real-life lawyer.

  22. Jourdan

    Jamie’s legal argument now. And he sounds ANGRYYYY.

  23. Jourdan

    Ryan is yelling at the audience about the injustice of the situation. Yelling.

  24. Jourdan

    He’s still speaking.

  25. Jourdan

    We’ve moved on to Ryan’s legal arguments. He’s pretty much just summarizing what’s been said over and over. I still think he’s wrong.

  26. Jourdan

    I just want to mention that I’m personally really offended by some of the questions and comments coming from the defense, and I certainly don’t hope that people think that this is the voice of the community-at-large here; its certainly not mine.

  27. Jourdan

    Ryan just asked whether its unfair that white students don’t have an RMS, which is something he’s been hinting at the whole trial. Ariella just served him his ass on a platter. I like her.

  28. Jourdan

    Kaamila just got applause from the audience for pointing out that “colorblind” approaches to this sort of situation DO. NOT. WORK.

  29. Jourdan

    Kaamila pointed out that there IS white privilege. Therefore, minority representation is necessary. “White” representation, however, is not.

  30. Jourdan

    Ryan just used the word “phenotypic” …seriously.

  31. Jourdan

    Ryan just questioned Kaamila’s validity as a witness, implying that she would be redundant because we have already heard from “other members of the racial minority community.”

    I am truly furious right now. That was a completely unnecessary comment that definitely sent a gasp around the courtroom. People here are upset, Ryan, you should be watching what you say. Tact and sympathy towards the emotions of others are important, even in this setting.

  32. Jourdan

    Back to me…

    I think Sahar’s point is a valid one, and I think that the post-trial forum would probably be a good idea, however…

    I think the anger and hurt currently brewing in the courtroom right now are compelling evidence as to why this position is necessary within the Brandeis Community. People are angry because of the lack of representation, and I think JV put it best when he said that “they deserve more.”

    I can’t be snarky about this. Sorry for those who feel like I’m being a downer, but the mood here is very serious right now.

  33. Jourdan

    Sahar here again – Julia addresses the courtroom: “I know there’s a lot of hurt here, I can see it in your eyes. And I’m truly sorry for that”

    I’m impressed in her sincerity here.

    There’s an idea floating here for a forum after the trial to address the feelings of hurt and anger in the audience. I think that’s a very good one

  34. Jourdan

    Sahar here – There’s a bit of a dynamic here of impatience in the audience and JV with the rather stilted structure of the court proceedings.

    The legal structure here (the need for examination and cross-examination) is making a tense situation worse.

  35. Jourdan

    Ryan is causing a serious uproar with some of his remarks, which I’m sure is unintentional, but he’s definitely making people really angry right now.

  36. Jourdan

    Justice Jordan is now giving a vocabulary lesson.

  37. Jourdan

    May I please just reiterate how impressed I am with JV’s testimony?

  38. Jourdan

    JV is speaking very candidly about the uproar that would be caused if they get rid of the RMS. He’s a very impressive speaker, and very honest.

  39. Jourdan

    Ok… apparently the document in question at the moment is something JV found in the archives regarding the history of racial issues at Brandeis.

  40. Jourdan

    JV says he wouldn’t feel comfortable running for a position besides RMS. This might be one of the most important and pertinent pieces of testimony we’ve heard all afternoon.

  41. Jourdan

    The UJ and the defense just spent about 10 minutes arguing in circles… oh dear

  42. Jourdan

    Jess Kent just almost tripped on Ryan’s sequined blue headband, which was lying on the floor. Ryan, for safety reasons, please keep your headband on your head.

    1. Ryan, for aesthetic reasons, please don’t.

  43. Jourdan

    JV just brought up Ford Hall and the treatment of racial minorities on Brandeis’ campus. Great point. And unfortunately, a true point, as well.

    Ryan is arguing that we should have a “white senator”… please raise your hand if this sounds completely ass-backwards to you too?

  44. Jourdan

    Currently on the stand is JV, who is running for RMS, y’know, if they don’t get rid of it. He seems really cool. If I could vote for RMS, I’d probably vote for him. But I can’t vote for the RMS, and I’m cool with that, so instead I think I’ll just tell him that he seems cool.

  45. Jourdan

    LOVING Nathan’s bow tie right now, by the way.

  46. Jourdan

    Jamie asked everyone to keep their cool. Justice Rachel says she’s got it covered.

  47. Jourdan

    Ok, so Andy informed me that he and Jason had to be out of here by 5:00 for the feedback meeting regarding the CARS proposal (which you should all go to!!!)… it is now 5:12, and Ryan is still yelling at Jason.

  48. Jourdan

    Jason just called the Union out on structural racism. Yeah, that’s right Student Union, the President just CALLED YOU OUT.

  49. Jourdan

    Ryan has taken his seat again.